I am not a doctor, an esthetician or a make up artist. I am a woman who struggles with acne, candida, leaky gut, digestion, adrenal fatigue, anxiety, MTHFR, hormonal imbalance and fertility. I am a woman who knows there is a lot I cannot control about my health but has learned there’s a hell of a lot that I can! But I didn’t always think that way!
My journey with clean living actually started because of my skin. That probably deserves its own post, but for now I’ll just say I’ve struggled with acne for most of my life. I tried everything – everything – including taking accutane 3 times. After countless frustrating appointments with western dermatologists who said there wasn’t much else they could do for me, I was desperate, determined and open to anything.
Ultimately, with the help of a functional practitioner and holistic dermatologist, I started focusing on what I was putting in my body and it truly changed my life. Through a whole body approach I slowly healed my gut and candida issues – which improved my skin issues – and learned a lot about the healing power of food. It wasn’t the whole picture, but it was a start. Which brings me to the next phase of my clean living journey: fertility.
C and I got married in October 2015. Our plan was to spend our first year of marriage as a couple and then start trying to grow our family. I’d already been on birth control for 13 years and figured one more wouldn’t hurt. So we followed the plan and come December of the following year I finally stopped the pill. That next month, I didn’t get a period. I remember thinking, oh my god are we pregnant already?! So I took a test…and it was negative. The next month, same thing. And the month after that… and the month after that.
I remember thinking, oh my god are we pregnant already?! So I took a test…and it was negative. The next month, same thing. And the month after that… and the month after that.
The trying process stopped feeling exciting and started feeling stressful. After all, how could we really try when I didn’t have a proper cycle? Despite everything I had done and was doing with my diet, months passed and still no flow. I was frustrated, sad and confused. I pretty much had this series of thoughts on repeat: This is not how this is supposed to be. Maybe next month will be different. What am I supposed to do now? Who can help me? What is WRONG with me? What am I missing?
Once again, I found myself desperate and determined. So I started researching. Research can be a slippery slope for someone like me because once I start, I cannot stop. And once I know something I cannot forget it. I continued to learn about what I was putting in my body and started expanding my research to what I was putting on my body and in my home as it related to my hormonal health. One by one I looked at each of my products, researching brands and ingredients, labels and certifications. I learned that a lot of things in my cabinet, under my sink and in my make up bag contained endocrine disruptors: natural and synthetic chemicals that mimic and interfere with the functions of hormones in the body. Many are linked to developmental, reproductive, neural and immune problems. And with that knowledge, I started to consider the impact that all of my choices were having on myself, my family and future generations. The bottom line? My products were working against me.
I started to consider the impact that all of my choices were having on myself, my family and future generations. The bottom line? My products were working against me.
So I started slow. Every time one of my old products ran out, I replaced it with a cleaner alternative (I’ll share more about how I did this in my next post!). Which eventually brings me to today. It took over a year but I’m almost 95% clean when it comes to the products I use on my body and in our home – and I’m still learning. I’ve built up a list of major ingredients to avoid and have finessed my knowledge of best practices, trusted brands and places to shop. In the beginning it took a lot of time and energy, but every day the process gets a little bit easier!
This is not of those “I just ate clean and switched my products and now I have a baby” stories. I still don’t have a period and we still don’t have a baby. And sometimes that is really hard. But this journey has taught me to trust the process and be a little more patient. One of my doctors once asked me how long I’d been on antibiotics (10 years) and birth control (much longer) and pointed out that it would take a lot longer than just a few months to heal my system as a result. There are no quick fixes. I don’t know what the future will bring, but I do know that every single step I’m taking towards living a safer, cleaner life is moving the needle and getting me closer to my ultimate goal of becoming a mom.
I don’t know what the future will bring, but I do know that every single step I’m taking towards living a safer, cleaner life is moving the needle and getting me closer to my ultimate goal of becoming a mom.
I’m also learning that the healing process is so much more than treating symptoms with quick fixes. I spent so much of my life doing just that, instead of investigating root causes. And I don’t blame myself or my parents – it’s just the way we’re socialized to think and largely the way that western medicine operates. And let me be clear – I am not against western medicine. I’ve benefited from it in many ways, too! But when it comes to healing and preventing dis-ease, I personally have found growth and comfort in an approach that includes both eastern and western modalities, one that involves healing from the inside out. One that involves nutritious foods, safer products and helping my body instead of working against it.
So today I’m choosing to be hopeful. I switched to safer because I want to get pregnant. I switched to safer because my health matters, my future child’s health matters and your health matters. I switched to safer because I believe everyone deserves products that put our health and safety first. I know first hand how overwhelming and frustrating it can be to change your routine – but I also know that it doesn’t have to be either of those things. So whatever your why is, know that I am here to help you on your journey.
Stay tuned for the next part of my Switch to Safer Series, where I delve into how I switched and how I can help you do the same!
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