OH hey! This is a different kind of a post for me, but since my question box feature on insta is completely busted, Claire helped me figure out a way to answer questions without relying on it. I have no idea if this will become a regular thing on the blog, but it’s definitely a fun format since I typically type up my answers anyway! You guys asked some great questions this round and I’m excited to answer almost all of them!
Q: Perfect staycation for you?
Ooooo I love this one. C and I actually did a staycation at the end of 2019 for our anniversary and it was SO nice. We like to stay in a hotel that’s not in our neighborhood – usually downtown – and then get drinks, have an early-ish dinner, watch a movie in bed, sleep in and then go to brunch. Last time we stayed at 11 Howard, got drinks at the hotel, dinner at our fave restaurant L’Artusi, snuggled up in our robes for a movie (seriously if we’re paying for a hotel we’re sure as heck gonna spend time there), slept in and went to infrared sauna treatments at Higher Dose (in the hotel!) and then brunch at Lure Fishbar around the corner. It was fantastic and if we did another staycation I’m sure we’d do something really similar!
Q: What’s on your menu this week?
I haven’t been great at sharing our menu lately so thank you for asking 🙂 I just finalized it and placed my Whole Foods order so it’s fresh in my mind! For dinner we are having spicy beef bolognese over banza + broccoli (like this, but beef), turkey / green bean / basil stir fry via Defined Dish (but I’m going to add some mixed mushrooms too), and garlic chicken thighs. I also snagged some dill and sliced turkey for sandwiches and am going to try to make my own chipotle mayo. For snacks I made almond butter, jelly and chocolate junk brownies (easier and healthier than you’d think – I used this “recipe” but swapped out the add ins) and am going to make my carrot cake cookies!
Q: How to recreate a neutral wardrobe?! Where did you start? Love your style!
First of all – thank you so much! That really means so much to me. I’ve always loved clothes and used fashion to express myself from a young age. Style is so personal, and mine has definitely evolved over the years. You can read a bit about my wardrobe philosophy here. I think it’s so important to remember that your wardrobe should consist of things that you love and feel good in, not what others like, love or what is trendy. Of course there’s a time and a place for trends but I guess what I’m trying to say is that when you buy something because you love it (not because someone else does, which can be hard to delineate even for me!), it feels different. Over time I’ve really finessed the colors, shapes and styles that I love and make me feel my best and that has made all the difference. If I’m purchasing something new or evaluating my current wardrobe, I always say to myself if it’s not a hell yes, its a no. I talk about this in the linked post, but for me, having a predominately neutral wardrobe has helped me downsize my closet (this is definitely relative – I would not say my wardrobe is small) and utilize each piece so much more. I prioritize wearability, versatility and comfort and, as a result, I’m able to mix, match and re-wear what I have year after year. I don’t buy things because they are neutral but that’s how my closet has evolved based on those priorities. The post talks more about how I approach shopping and building my closet so def pop over there for more!
Q: Where is your favorite place to vacation?
So, I think C would agree with me when I say one of our biggest regrets is that we haven’t really prioritized travel as a couple. And 2020 was a year we really hoped to change that (jokes on us, apparently). That being said, as far as somewhere I like to visit frequently I would say Lake George. One of our dear friends has a home there and we try to go at least once a year. Something about the lake just forces me to relax and just be. I also really love Colorado in the summer – I grew up going to camp in the rocky mountains and they will always have a special place in my heart. Aside from that, C and I both adore Paris. We went for our first anniversary and fell head over heels! Probably me more so than C, but he’s definitely on board at this point. We were scheduled to go to London and Paris last year and hope to do it in 2021 (more on this below!).
Q: What are the next steps in your fertility journey?
Thank you so much for checking in on this. Honestly, I’ve been having a really hard time with our situation lately so I don’t think I’m ready to discuss our plans. It’s not that we haven’t thought about it – lately, getting pregnant is all I ever think about – but I’ve had a few months of incessant pregnancy announcements and birth announcements and it’s been hard to navigate emotionally. I will say that we have had a series of appointments and are hoping to share more soon, when I’m up for it. Sharing this journey can be really helpful and cathartic but sometimes it’s exhausting to open that door. I am so grateful for my community – truly, everyone is always so incredbily kind and supportive. That being said, whenever I share about where I’m at I often get a lot of comments and advice, whether its doctors or books or opinions and I simply have to be in a certain headspace to process it all or else I feel like I’m not doing enough – and I already feel that way most of the time. That is completely on me, not on anyone else, but not sharing is a boundary that I can put in place for myself when I know that I’m not capable of managing the feelings that come with opening up. Anyway, I hope that makes sense and I really hope to be in a place to share more soon.
Q: If you could go back to your 28 year old self, what would you tell her?
Oh man, when I was 28 I was just getting married! That was actually a hard year, in hindsight. It was exciting but I also was still very unsure of myself and was navigating some challenging friendships. For a lot of my life I put a lot of pressure on myself – I still do – but I was particularly hard on myself then. I would tell myself to turn inward for answers and to trust my gut when it came to decisions and people. I would tell myself to focus on the present, because worrying about the future is a sure fire way to lose sight of all that is good and beautiful in the moment. I would tell myself to chill about timelines and arbitrary time based goals. I would tell myself that it gets better but it only gets better because I turn inward and do the work and prioritize therapy and let go a little. Honestly, my 28 year old self would probably tell my 33 year old self that I just didn’t understand and to bugger off, but I would give her some CBD, wrap her in a hug and be persistent.
Q: What are some fun facts about you?
I’m the youngest of 3, by a significant margin (my siblings are 13 and 16 years older than me – same marriage). I don’t consider myself particularly athletic but I was a really good swimmer but I burned out young after one visit to the junior olympics. I am a homebody and enjoy being by myself – a night with a good show or a good book and a glass of wine is like, my ideal. But I also love people, but prefer dinner parties and hosting over going out. My favorite color is green. I’m allergic to cats and as a result, am not really a fan. I don’t love condiments and up until college the only one I actually ate was ketchup. My arms are double jointed and I can hyper-extend my elbows. I am a night owl and have been since I was little – my mom had to put me in PM kindergarten. The first time I cooked for Christian I tried to make a red sauce from scratch and it basically ended up being tomato water so we threw it out and ordered in.
Q: Travel dreams for 2021?
This year we don’t have a lot of travel plans – we have two weddings in Colorado and no big plans to go anywhere else at this point. 2022 though, that’s another story! We plan to go back to Europe and will tweak exactly where depending on the season. We’d love to go back to London and Paris, but also really want to see the South of France, Italy and Southern Spain.
Q: What are you reading now?
I literally just finished Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult last night and really appreciated it, especially after reading the Author’s Note. It’s actually not a new book – it came out in 2016 – but I just found it (unread) on my kindle. That being said, it is incredibly relvent – the topics of race, privilege, prejudice, justice and compassion are tackled very well and with deep thought. Parts of the book were definitely uncomfortable at times, but necessary. I will do a full review in my next Book Report, a series I hope to launch at the end of the month! I just started Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi, who wrote one of my favorite books of all time (Homegoing). I’m getting really close to my reading goal for the year (15 books) and we’re only halfway through!
Q: Did you always know you wanted to do what you do for work?
In some ways yes, in some ways no. when I was in college the idea of deciding what I wanted to do and be was really overwhelming to me – paralyzing even. As a society we put a lot of pressure on college kids, and I think forcing someone to decide exactly what they want to do and be during a time when they’re all still trying to figure themselves out can end up being pretty damaging – at least it was for me. I went to a liberal arts university (Colgate University) and ultimately majored in what I liked the most (Sociology and Women’s Studies) and infused what I was passionate about (fashion) intead of focusing on what I wanted to do with my degree. For me, that was definitely the best decision. I left school with the intention of being in a merchandiser or buyer for a larger retailer, but ulimately realized that making my passion my career was not the best choice for me. I give a lot of myself to others and to whatever I set my mind to, and I learned it’s important for me to feel valued and appreciated as a result. I’ve always loved people and helping others – so I got into my current career (I’m an Executive Assistant) when I decided to really focus on my strengths (organization, multi-tasking, anticipating the needs of others, customer service) but in a different type of industry and at different kind of company, one that really values me and my role. I am so happy that I did.
Okedoke folks, that’s all for now – thank you so much for all of the wonderful questions! Let me know what you think about this format and perhaps I’ll do it again in the future 🙂 Have a great week!
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I have been going through infertility for years as well. I am so sorry you have to go through it – it just really sucks! I totally get how hard it is to open up about it and receive well-intentioned but often hurtful comments, advice, etc. It can be so overwhelming and exhausting to talk about. I’ll be thinking of you and wish you the best in your journey!
Hi Katie – I am SO sorry for the serious delay here. First and foremost, it does suck. Everything about it sucks, and its hard, and I wish that you were not on this same road. I hope you know that you are not alone, and while I am not here to give you advice, I am here if you need to be an ear if you ever need one. Sending you great big hugs!