Mother’s Day 2020

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a mother. It is hard to put into words, but it’s something that I’ve always known, deep in my heart: I was meant to do this. And yet, my road to motherhood has not been easy. It has been anything but easy. And while I had hoped that by now I would be sitting here with one or two babes in my arms, with spit up on my shirt and toys on the floor and happy gurgles and giggles filling the air…that is not the case. It’s hard – that I will not sugarcoat – and it’s especially challenging on this day of all days, the one that I feel so drawn to but am not really a part of.

In years past, I shed a lot of tears. But today, I can honestly say that I am doing okay. I firmly believe that I will be a mother. Maybe not when I or how I had planned, but it will happen. And when it does, I will be the best version of myself because I’ve had time to grow. Truth be told, I always thought that time was the enemy – that I was racing against a clock that I set, along with arbitrary timelines that have long since passed. I know now that time is not the enemy – far from it. Time is actually a gift, because with it, I am learning more about myself, my marriage and what it means to love deeply, sincerely and fiercely.

I know that I will be the best mother to my children because of my experiences, not despite them. And when I’m holding my child – with spit up on my shirt and toys on the floor and happy gurgles and giggles filling the air – we will be exactly as we should be.

But today isn’t about me – it is about all mothers: hopeful mothers, mothers-to-be, mothers we lost and mothers who have lost. When I think about Mother’s Day I think about how blessed I am to have two wonderful mothers – by birth and by marriage – both of whom I love, cherish and look up to. So today, on this very special day, I thought that I would honor, celebrate and share a little bit about what my mothers mean to me and have them share a little bit about themselves, too!

FLEURY-ANN LINN

• 

• 

• 

• 

My mother, Fleury, is my hero. My parents had two children, a boy and a girl, and a whopping 13 years later – much to their surprise – I came along and rocked their socks off. I know the last thing my mom planned to do at 43 was to have another child and yet, funny enough, her story brings me great comfort: if my mom could have me at 43, then I know there is hope for me, too 🙂 As the youngest (by far) child, I got to spend a lot of time with my parents. That is something I will be forever grateful for. My mom taught me to be creative, to express myself and to be kind. Through her example I learned to be a good friend, a sensitive human and a giving citizen. My mom taught me to bake, to cook and even to sew. She taught me to care for myself and others, to use my words wisely but freely and to be curious. I love that she sees the best in everyone and everything, that she treats everyone like a close friend (even strangers!) and that she always knows exactly what to say. She gives the best advice – I actually keep a note on my phone with all of her nuggets of wisdom so that if I can’t reach her, I can hear her in my head. My mom believes in me even when I don’t, and cheers me up when no one else can. She has the biggest, brightest heart out of anyone that I know and I can only hope that my children love me as much as I love her. Here are her responses to my questions:

Name one woman (mother or not!) who inspires you and why? My maternal Grandmother, Florence Christina Nielsen Fleury,  inspires me. She was 1 of 5 children born to 2 Danish immigrants; she married right out of high school at 17 yr  to 21 yr old Raymond John Fleury, who grew up in an orphanage and left at 18 yrs old. He worked much of his life as a live-in apartment building custodian. They had 2 children whom they put through college. My Grandmother was the ultimate homemaker; she learned to cook and bake from her mother and to sew and tailor from her father. She was very frugal, saved her pennies and then she bought good quality furniture. It was said that she could “make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear!”  She made all her own clothes and  her daughters and even tailored suits for her husband. When she was in her 50’s she and my grandfather bought a piece of property and built a house in the suburbs. Because her credit was so good, she got a 30 yr mortgage and paid it off in 15 years. She had excellent taste- she did all her own painting, wallpapering. She was generous, kind and spiritual. She would do all her housework and baking in the morning, then would take a bath, put on clean clothes and have coffee and some sweet that she had baked.  She never complained. She loved God, her family, was a good friend and an amazing role model. 

What do you do for you – or – how do you practice self care? I try to walk an hour a day, do other exercises and also try to read the paper and eat healthy.

What is your favorite book? Right now, it is The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy. The book is priceless and precious. It is not overly wordy or complicated. It can be read and enjoyed by young and old. It teaches lessons simply that all can understand and think about! It was a birthday gift to me and I have read it often. I think it is so meaningful and important a message that I have given it to all of my children.

What is your favorite recipe to cook? My favorite recipe is something that tastes wonderful and is easy to make. Oftentimes in a multi-cooker!

What is your favorite recipe to eat? My favorite food to eat is a perfectly grilled medium rare filet of beef. 

What is your favorite Beautycounter product? Dew Skin Tinted Moisturizer because it has sunscreen in it, goes on easily and smoothly and seems to help my skin look smooth and even.

What is the best thing about being a mother? The best thing about being a mother is watching your child grow, learn and transform from an infant, to a child, a teenager and then a young adult. To see this young adult become a thoughtful, honest, person who is enjoys his or her life.

What is the best advice you received from your mother? Or advice that you always remember from your mother? Both my sister and I said the same thing! My mom always said “ Pick your battles!” Some people might say it means “Don’t worry about the small things!”

What is your go-to advice for your children? Always tell the truth.

MEGAN DUGGAN MASSEY

• 

• 

• 

• 

My mother-in-law, Megan, is also my hero. She raised three boys under 5 – partly in two foreign countries and largely solo because my father-in-law traveled a lot for work. Megan has been a part of my life for 12 years, but it feels like a lifetime. I’m very close with my parents, and choosing to live far from them – especially my mom – was not particularly easy. But having Megan on the east coast has made all the difference. Megan has been there for me during tough times and wonderful times. She’s held my hand during doctor’s appointments when C had to work, stayed up late with me to talk through lifes latest, greatest and hardest and given me some of my all time favorite hugs. Words cannot express how grateful I am for her endless love and support, both individually and in my marriage. I admire her strength, her unwavering faith, her love for her family, her positive outlook and her straight to the point advice. Just like her mother (pictured above), I can always count on her to shoot me straight. When I am a mother, I hope I am as patient, thoughtful and present as Megan. She is my second mom, confidant and, luckily, my friend. Here are her responses to my questions:

Name one woman (mother or not!) who inspires you and why? The one woman who inspires me every minute of every day is my own mother. She was smart, loving, fun, great sense of humor, honest, faith filled, well read, hard working, kind, gentle, a life long learner, strong, beautiful inside and out and so much more. She spoke for women who did not a voice. She advocated for women who needed the opportunity to receive an education to change the trajectory of their lives and for future generations. She was free thinking, thought outside the box. She reminded me and my siblings regularly to remain humble, grateful and to always keep God in our lives. My mom would gently tell us that much of our good fortune was God given, not earned. She reminded me to slow down and enjoy every minute of everyday. She taught us to pray. To be thoughtful before speaking because you can never retrieve your words.  I was so blessed that she was my mom. I miss her every day. 

What do you do for you – or – how do you practice self care? I turn to different modalities for self care. I pray. I meditate. I walk. I cook. I nurture. I laugh. 

What is your favorite book? My favorite book is The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. It is written in the first person by a woman, Dinah who was the daughter of Jacob and Leah from the Bible. She was also Joseph’s sister.  So obviously to hear a woman’s voice, her point of view in biblical times was interesting and unusual.  But the message of support, women supporting women was inspirational to me. The Red Tent is where women were sent when menstruating or In labor. The unconditional support and encouragement was wonderful.  I think I will read this book again soon.

What is your favorite recipe to cook? My favorite recipe to make is grain-free Thai Coconut Turkey Meatballs from Wholesomelicious.  I love the fragrance the ingredients produce. It is delicious. Everyone loves this recipe. AND I received it from NORA 🙂

What is your favorite recipe to eat? My favorite recipe to eat is a new one. It is Shrimp Ceviche from the Defined Dish by Alex Snodgrass. It is easy and absolutely DELICIOUS!  BTW. I received this cookbook from Nora and Christian for Mother’s Day. LOVE IT. 

What is your favorite Beautycounter product? Hmmm, that is a hard question to answer because I really enjoy the entire skin care line and the results. I LOVE the Countertime cleansing oil, serum and the overnight resurfacing peel. Truly see results and all without harmful chemicals. I have had women ask me what product I use!

What is the best thing about being a mother? Far too many to list but…I will try to put this into words without crying. It is a blessing and a gift to have the opportunity to nurture a God given life. It is a privilege to nurture, love unconditionally and so deeply, instill our faith, to laugh with, watch their creativity and imaginations grow, to support them when needed, to let go when it is time, to watch our sons become loving, supportive, responsible men who respect all people and appreciate the importance of family. They will be my legacy. I am so proud of them. PS I cried 🙂

What is the best advice you received from your mother? Or advice that you always remember from your mother? The best advice from my mom was to appreciate every day, to always be kind, to communicate honestly with love and respect after praying. To love fully and unconditionally. To enjoy life…this is no dress rehearsal 🙂

What is your go-to advice for your children? To live your life appreciating and respecting all lives. Never judge others. Be kind. Own your mistakes. It is not weak to apologize. Move past mistakes. Forgive yourself and others. Have FUN! Laugh often. ALWAYS keep God in life. Never forget how much I love you, always and forever, and unconditionally. My children have been my greatest joy and contribution to the world.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know these wonderful women and that they inspire you as much as they inspire me!

And lastly – today is a day to celebrate, but it is also a day to mourn, to feel, to honor and to cherish. It is whatever you need it to be. If today is hard for you – I see you, I hear you and I am with you. Know that you are never alone. And while none of us know what the future holds, I truly believe that we will all end up exactly where we need to be.

SHOP THE POST