Howdy, folks! What a week it has been! If you’ve been following along on stories, then you know that C and I started the IVF process over the past month. Today marks day 8 of shots for ovarian stimulation! If this sounds like complete jibberish to you, I understand – I have been there! Basically, we are in the midst of stimulating my ovaries to prepare for egg retrieval – AKA taking my eggs out of me, so they can be combined with sperm to create embryos that evenutally get implanted in me later.
IVF is a process, and not much is shared about the ins and outs of it. I find that to be a very sad reality. Being open and honest about our experience has really helped us process our feelings, get the support we need and feel a hell of a lot less shame. My hope is that in sharing our journey with you, the entire experience becomes a little more familiar and easier to talk about for everyone involved.
I’ve shared this before, but even as someone with fertility issues I still came into this IVF process knowing very little. I knew IVF involved shots, and that everything is simulated, but I never understood the logistics and timing of it all. For a lot of people on the outside, I think IVF comes up once someone announces a pregnancy – and then it’s in the past tense. It’s like this magical, mystical treatment that is sort of talked about but never realy in detail. The reality is, while IVF is a wonderful treatment, it’s not an option for everyone and it’s not guarantee. And there is so much that goes on behind the scenes!
In the next several weeks, you can expect more posts about the process, our experience and what we are learning along the way. I’ll also keep sharing about all the things I normally do – easy healthy meals, favorite finds, oufits, books and current event-related rants 😉 Maybe even fall fashion, one I embrace the autumnal equinox (my favorite!).
For now, let’s chat about a few things that have brought me a lot of comfort (literally and mentally) over the past few weeks.
The Easiest Athleisure Dress
This dress has been a total lifesaver! I wore it pretty much every day on vacation and always reach for it on the weekends. This dress is my go-to when I want to look presentable without putting in much effort. It’s super cute, runs tts (or a bit big, I take my smaller size), is easy to clean and the fabric is suuuuper lightweight. I have to say, I heard mixed things about the updated version but was pleasantly surprised at how much I love it! It’s definitely different than the Girlfriend dress (which I also have and love) so perhaps I’ll do a comparison video soon!
Tube Socks
Fun Fact: I wear socks ALL THE TIME. I have cold hands and feet (pretty common for someone with my thyroid and hormonal issues) but in Chinese Medicine, it’s really important to keep the feet warm for fertility. I find when I wear socks around the house and sleep in them, I feel (and sleep) much better! My go-to is this 10 pack – which I get on Amazon. The cotton is super thick, cozy and looks cute with all types of outfits. You also cannot beat the price!
Mindful IVF Meditation App
I am working on a post about my essentials for the IVF process – both practical/logistical and emotional/mental – specifically for the retrieval period, which can be done outside of IVF, too! But before I get to that, I HAVE to continue to mention this app, because it has been such a gamechanger for me. I have a complicated and fluctuating relationship with meditation. Sometimes I really love it and sometimes I really get in my own head about it. I have a lot of thoughts (which I’m sure surprises no one) and when I first start meditating that can really trip me up. Thankfully, the more I meditate, the more I understand that thoughts are okay and it gets easier to unwind and relax.
That being said, a lot of meditation apps – while wonderful – are not specifically geared towards my current experiences. I was really craving something to help me through IVF specifically – a mantra, a podcast, music…and ultimately heard about his app through several fellow fertility warriors. The great thing about Mindful IVF, is that there’s a meditation for every single part of the IVF process. From the prep to the stims to the transfer and everthing inbetween! There are also IUI meditations, meditations for partners, and a host of other bonuses. Most of the app is free, but you can also pay for certain add ons. I listen to my meditation every single morning and it has really grounded me in the process. I feel so grateful and encouraged and at peace about our process and experience, and a large part of that is due to this app!
Sharing and Setting Boundaries
Another thing I’ve really been digging into during this time is setting boundaries. A couple years ago, I was listening to a Kara Lowentheil podcast and it really changed the game for me in terms of undrstanding and setting boundaries. She pretty much said that boundaries are not for other people – you don’t set a boundary in order to get others to change their actions. You set a boundary for yourself. For me, that shift in perspective was exciting and empowering.
What does setting boundaries look like for me? Right now, it means I have a hard and fast bedtime. Sleep is one of my new priorities, which means I have my phones away by 9:30pm (at the latest) and am usually in bed right after. It looks like prioritizing rest in other ways, too. One of the biggest ways I set boundaries is by saying no to things that don’t bring me joy or that I cannot manage right now. It also means communicating how I feel and how I need to be supported. Lately, I find myself just needing an ear – someone to sit, listen and create space for me to process. But if I just start venting, a lot of times I receive advice, encouragement or opinions.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for those – and I give them, too! But I’ve learned to recognize when I simply need to be heard. In those situations, I’ll reach out to a friend or family member and say “can I talk to you about something? I don’t need you to solve or fix anything, I just need to talk it out”. That way, I communciate my needs and they understand my expectations and what will provide comfort. Sharing where I’m at and what I need is a way that I create boundaries for msyelf in conversations.
Lastly, I always make time for C and I to connect. Historically, Christian and I have different communciation methods but we are getting really good at working together, despite those differences. I shared about some of our new communication strategies in this post, namely the introduction of “10 Minutes of Truth”. Being consistent about this practice has helped us understand ourselves and eachother on a completely different level and made the past few weeks so much easier.
TV Time
I’ve been in a television phase for the past few weeks! I wrapped up Victoria (on PBS via Amazon Prime) – so good and exactly what I needed after finishing Downton for the first time! I loved learning more about Queen Victoria, her growth as a leader and her relationship with Albert. She was the first monarch to have a baby on the thone (which she did many times) and while I’m sure the show dramatized certain things, overall I thought they did an excellent job addressing the emotional, political and personal components of the throne during that time period.
Then I crushed The Morning Show (on Apple+) in a weekend – so freaking suspenseful, well done and incredibly motivating. I will say, the content can be tough and triggering, but I appreciated an angle on daytime television (and the #metoo movement) told from the perspective of women. Reese and Jen are dynamite and really explored the nuances – emotional, social and relational – of the workplace, relationships and ultimately the patriarchal society. Season two comes out TODAY which I am thrilled about. C and I are also watching Lupin together, which is a fantastic show by Netflix France about a gentleman thief (exciting but not scary – criteria we both insist on).
On my own, I just started The Durrells (also on Amazon Prime) which is exactly what I need right now. With everything going on in our personal lives (and the world TBH) I want to surround myself with good and happy things – so even in my relaxing (books, television, podcasts) I’m only listening to uplifting and feel good content. The Durrells really fits that bill! It’s about a British widow, Louisa Durrell, with four children – all of whom are struggling and unhappy in England. As a result, Louisa up and moves her entire family to Corfu, Greece. Corfu is beautiful – but its also a close knit community that’s tough to break into (and doesn’t have electricity!).
The show takes place in the 1930s, and the costumes and sets are simply stunning. It’s dramatic without being stressful, heart warming without being fluffy, and whip smart without being cheesy. The characters are so very real and developed, and I love the familial dynamics. Keeley Hawes (who plays Louisa) is enchanting and I’m happy to see Josh O’Connor (who played Prince Charles in seasons 1-2 of The Crown – woof) redeem himself in a more charming and likable role.
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